


Take Me To Church

by metaluna



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race (US) RPF
Genre: Angst, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Light Smut, internalized homophobia from the church
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:41:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27234406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/metaluna/pseuds/metaluna
Summary: There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sinIn the madness and soil of that sad earthly sceneOnly then I am humanOnly then I am cleanCrystal had always thought she wasn't one for dating. And then Gigi moved to town and turned Crystal's life upside down. For her entire life, she was told homosexuality is wrong... But what if it's not?A songfic based on Hozier's Take Me to Church
Relationships: Gigi Goode/Crystal Methyd
Comments: 24
Kudos: 48





	Take Me To Church

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, everyone! This is just a song fic I came up with the other night, and it came so easily to me. I think it's because I went through the same struggles (granted I didn't have a Gigi in my life). Because of this, HUGE tw for internalized homophobia brought on by the church. If you've been through it, it can be tough to read, so just be warned 
> 
> as ALWAYS thank you to the fabulous @juniperjam for beta reading and being an icon and cheering a very wine drunk me on xoxo

Crystal never thought she would fall in love, or even have romantic feelings for anyone. Plenty of boys from school and from youth group tried to get to know her better. She’d been asked on plenty of dates, all of which she was conveniently too busy to go on.

And then she met Gigi.

Gigi moved to town the summer before Crystal’s senior year. Her family began attending Crystal’s church, and there was something about Gigi’s magnetic personality that Crystal found herself drawn to. It wasn’t just her personality. Gigi was gorgeous, anyone with eyes could see that. Her fiery hair and piercing eyes could draw just about anyone in. 

Crystal told herself she just thought Gigi was a really interesting person, even though she knew that wasn’t the complete truth. 

“Hi,” Gigi said shyly after one Sunday service. “I’m Gigi. I don’t think I’ve had a chance to actually introduce myself, I’m sorry.”

“No worries! I’m Crystal. It’s nice to _officially_ meet you, Gigi.”

“You, too.”

“Are you going to be going to Central this next year?” Crystal asked, even though she already knew the answer. There was only one high school in the immediate area. 

Gigi nodded. “I’m nervous. We moved from California for Dad’s job, and I know literally no one.”

“Except me.”

“Except you.”

“Don’t be nervous. Have you been around town very much yet?”

“Not really. I’ve been helping my mom unpack and haven’t had time for much else,” Gigi admitted.

“What if I showed you around?” Crystal surprised herself at her sudden boldness. “Are you doing anything later today?”

“I was going to set up my room, but that can wait,” Gigi smiled. 

“Do you want to meet in the church parking lot at four?”

“That sounds great.”

 _My lover's got humor_ _  
_ _She's the giggle at a funeral_ _  
_ _Knows everybody's disapproval_ _  
_ _I should've worshiped her sooner_

Something that Crystal hadn’t accounted for was that there was absolutely nothing to do in her tiny town. As she rode her bike to the church, she was having a hard time deciding where to take Gigi, before ultimately deciding on the elementary school’s playground. 

“Where are we going?” Gigi asked as she walked up to Crystal. 

“Don’t laugh until you give it a chance, but I was thinking maybe we could go to the playground.”

Gigi’s face immediately lit up. “I’m absolutely down.” 

The elementary school wasn’t far from the church. Crystal pushed her bike along as she walked next to Gigi. 

“You said you were from California?”

Gigi nodded. “I spent my entire life there.”

“Wow, I’m sure Missouri is boring for you, then.”

“I don’t know. I kind of like it. The city was a little crazy. This is a lot more peaceful.”

“That’s a funny way to say boring,” Crystal joked. 

“I mean it! In California everything feels like it moves so fast. At least where I’m from it does, and here people seem to be a lot more relaxed. It’s nice.”

“I’ll take your word for it. I’ve never been out of the state.”

“You’re kidding,” Gigi said incredulously. 

Crystal shook her head. “Nope.”

They arrived at the playground, and Gigi ran immediately for the swings. Crystal took the swing next to Gigi as she swung with her eyes shut. 

Without saying anything, Gigi jumped from the swing and climbed up the jungle gym. Gigi’s energy was contagious as Crystal followed suit. 

Once they both sat on the upper level of the jungle gym, Gigi asked, “Are you dating anyone?”

Crystal blushed. “I’ve never had a boyfriend. What about you?”

“Well. I haven’t had a _boyfriend_ …” Gigi trailed off, looking at Crystal hoping she’d understood.

“Are you... _gay_?” Crystal whispered the last word. 

Gigi shrugged. “Maybe? Maybe I’m bi. I’m not sure… Is there something wrong with that?”

“No!” Crystal accidentally shouted. “I mean, no there isn’t. I’ve just never met someone who was…”

“Gay?”

“Yeah. Do your parents know?”

Gigi sighed and nodded her head. “When they found out they sent me to a therapist. Right after, they felt terrible and apologized. Things were… rocky between us for a while, but our relationship is getting back to how it was. I am so lucky. They could have kicked me out. But they didn’t.”

As far as Crystal was concerned, being gay was a sin. It was what the pastor said on Sundays. It’s what her parents told her. Homosexuality was unnatural, an abomination, the bible said so. But, if being gay was so wrong, that would mean there was something wrong with Gigi. In Crystal’s eyes, there was nothing wrong with the girl. Just the opposite.

There was a silence as Crystal took in Gigi’s appearance. She was beautiful, the most beautiful girl Crystal had ever seen. There was something about Gigi that made her stomach flutter. It was like how her friends described how they felt about their boyfriends. 

Immediately, she tried to push the feelings down. Crystal wasn’t gay. Her mother called her a late bloomer who just hadn’t met the right boy yet. 

But, all Crystal could do was stare at Gigi’s lips.

“Do you think you’re gay?” 

“No!” Crystal shouted again. 

Gigi raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Then why are you looking at me like that?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You look like you want to kiss me right now.”

“I do _not_!” Crystal shifted nervously, unable to look at Gigi.

“Look me in the eyes and say ‘I don’t want to kiss you, Gigi’ and I’ll leave it alone,” Gigi said as she crossed her arms and leaned against the wall of the jungle gym. 

Crystal tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I…”

“That’s what I thought.” 

Gigi leaned forward as she gently touched her lips to Crystal’s. She pulled away and looked into Crystal’s dark eyes. They kissed again, but this time Crystal initiated it as Gigi tangled her hands through Crystal’s wild mane. 

Suddenly, Crystal pulled away. “I have to go.”

“Crystal, wait!” 

Crystal didn’t turn around as she sped off on her bike. 

_If the Heavens ever did speak_ _  
_ _She's the last true mouthpiece_

“Honey? Are you okay?” Crystal’s mom called as she ran up the stairs.

“I’m fine!”

Crystal shut her door and locked it as she knelt beside her bed.

“God, I am so, so sorry. Please forgive me. I have no idea what came over me. I sinned, and I know I sinned. I don’t know why I kissed Gigi. Homosexuality is wrong, and I know it is. Please, please forgive me. Please give me the strength to not feel these feelings towards her. I don’t want to be an abomination. I don’t want to go to Hell. Take these impure feelings away, I’m begging you, please.” Tears were streaming down Crystal’s face as they stained her glasses. 

_Every Sunday's getting more bleak  
A fresh poison each week   
"We were born sick", you heard them say it   
My church offers no absolutes_

The Sunday after she kissed Gigi, Crystal sat in the pew trying to take in the pastor’s every word, rather than looking at Gigi, who was sitting in the pew behind her. Crystal could feel Gigi’s eyes on her, it was as though her eyes were piercing a hole through the back of her skull. But, Crystal refused to look behind her. 

“As Leviticus 18:20 reminds us, one shall not lay with a man as he lays with a woman. This is considered to be an abomination for many reasons. First and foremost, homosexuality is unnatural…”

As much as Crystal wanted to pay attention to the pastor, her thoughts began to wander.

_But what about a woman kissing another woman?_

For the rest of the service, Crystal couldn’t focus on a single word. The kiss was replaying through her mind on repeat, and Crystal didn’t care to change it. Some small part of Crystal wanted to do it again, and as much as she tried to wash the impure thought away, she couldn't. 

“Crystal! Wait!” Gigi called as Crystal tried to sneak out of the church unnoticed. 

“What do you want?”

“Can we go talk?”

Crystal bit her lip. As much as she wanted to never speak to Gigi again, she couldn’t help it.

“Where? Not here. No one can hear us talk about the... events.”

“Of course not. We can go to my house, it’s not that far away.”

Crystal could only manage to nod in agreement. 

_She tells me, "Worship in the bedroom"_ _  
_ _The only Heaven I'll be sent to_ _  
_ _Is when I'm alone with you_ _  
_ _I was born sick, but I love it_ _  
_ _Command me to be well_

Before Gigi could even shut the door, Crystal started crying. 

“Crystal, what’s wrong?” Gigi asked, wiping away a tear.

Crystal pulled away. “I’m not gay.”

“Okay. I never said you were. But you wanted that kiss just as much as I did.”

“Be quiet!” Crystal hissed. “No one can know we kissed.”

“Okay, we didn’t kiss,” Gigi said as she sat on her bed and patted the spot next to her.

Crystal wanted nothing more in that moment to run straight out of Gigi’s front door and to never come back. But, something came over her, because after she initially sat down, Crystal edged closer to Gigi until their thighs were touching. Gigi rubbed up and down Crystal’s thigh before grabbing it firmly, which caused Crystal to gasp and close her eyes. Once she opened them, they sat looking in each other’s eyes before their lips met once more. 

The kiss felt even better than the first time. Gigi pulled Crystal closer as she began to run her hands up and down Crystal’s chest. 

“Is this okay?” Gigi whispered.

Crystal nodded. “Yes.”

“Tell me if you want me to stop.”

Crystal didn’t want Gigi to stop. While their lips moved in perfect rhythm together, Gigi tugged at the bottom of Crystal’s blouse. Crystal knew it was Gigi’s way of asking for permission, so she nodded, not breaking the kiss as she began to experiment with tentatively playing with Gigi’s breasts. It was immediately clear to Crystal that Gigi wasn’t wearing a bra.

She didn’t have time to think about that fact because Gigi began unbuttoning Crystal’s blouse. 

Once more Gigi pulled away. “Okay?”

“Yes.”

Before she knew it, Crystal was left in her bra and skirt. Crystal felt the same courage she felt when she asked Gigi to hang out the previous week as she slipped her hand under Gigi’s dress, which caused Gigi to shiver involuntarily. It was immediately clear that the girl wasn’t wearing a bra. 

Gigi pulled down the straps of her dress as she let the flowy fabric fall on her lap. Crystal gasped as she took in Gigi’s bare chest. In that moment, Crystal swore she’d never seen a more beautiful sight in her entire life. 

Gently, Gigi guided Crystal’s hand as Crystal’s finger’s tenderly grazed Gigi’s nipple. 

Exhaling sharply, as Crystal traced Gigi’s nipple she said, “You’re a natural.”

Skillfully, Gigi used one hand to unclip Crystal’s bra as she asked “Are you still okay?”

“I’m more than okay. I want this.”

“Are you sure?”

Crystal nodded. “Positive.”

 _Take me to church_ _  
_ _I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies_ _  
_ _I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife_ _  
_ _Offer me that deathless death_ _  
_ _Good God, let me give you my life_

“Oh my god, Gigi!” Crystal moaned.

Everything about the way Gigi treated Crystal was gentle. The way she thrusted her fingers in and out of Crystal’s heat while rubbing her thumb on her clit was no exception. 

“You are so beautiful,” Gigi whispered.

Suddenly, Crystal felt a new sensation, much more intense than before. She looked down at Gigi who ran her tongue down Crystal’s slit before focusing on her throbbing clit. The sensation was almost too much for Crystal. With one last moan, a wave of euphoria washed over her. The noise was like a sweet hymn to Gigi’s ears. 

Once Crystal rode out her orgasm, Gigi kissed Crystal, much more forcefully than the times before. Crystal followed suit as she returned with the same force. There was something about the kiss that excited Crystal. It felt urgent, as the moment could be ripped away at any time, which is not something she wanted.

Crystal never realized sinning could feel so sweet. 

“Oh my god,” Gigi exhaled as she pulled away. 

“We sure are bringing God into this a lot,” Crystal mused. 

“We are, aren’t we?”

Crystal bit her lip as she thought aloud. “I don’t understand something. If being gay is an abomination, then why is what we just did so beautiful? This morning, the pastor said that it was unnatural, but nothing has felt so natural in my entire life.”

Gigi pulled Crystal into a much softer kiss. “Maybe God’s wrong.”

 _There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin_ _  
_ _In the madness and soil of that sad earthly scene_   
_Only then I am human_ _  
_ Only then I am clean

“Maybe,” Crystal whispered.

_Amen_

**Author's Note:**

> This one-shot was extremely, EXTREMELY therapeutic to me, I almost didn't publish it because it felt very personal, so thank you so much for reading.
> 
> Find me on tumblr @themetaluna


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